For the Sanctity of Figure Skating Pt. 5

December 20, 2012 § 1 Comment

These “Sanctity of Figure Skating” posts are generally reserved for shedding light on all things figure skating and this post isn’t any different. It’s just a little broader and may relate to someone, even if they don’t answer their life calling as a figure skater. Do you compare yourself to others?

I wish I had a hoverboat car that I could operate in McCovey Cove.

I wish I had a hoverboat car that I could operate in McCovey Cove.

You probably dug deep for other answers before you gave up the charade and said, “Yes.” You may have been furious with yourself when your friend and rival figure skater landed that first axel ealrier than you. You’re probably jealous when your friend showed off how much money they have. What about that time another friend passed those moves in the field and free skate tests first? You’re probably still in awe of that basketball player who has that height. Self-comparisons are a great way to waste time.

Guys, the answer. Is. Never. Yes.

Guys, the answer. Is. Never. Yes.

At some point in the previous paragraph, you probably recognized a part of your past back when you compared yourself to someone, identifying what was missing in your genetics, your physical repertoire, or your qualifications. You look at your friend and you look back at yourself. You look at someone who you see as a perfect significant other for you, only they’re dating someone else. You look at your qualifications, a list much shorter than that of someone who has a PhD in balling. But rather than spending your time focusing on what’s missing, concentrate instead on what you do have.

What Do I Have?

You are alive. Many others will not make it to see the next day, the next week, the next holiday or the next year. You skate? Be thankful that you can physically get out of the house, to the rink and display any degree of coordination on the ice. Infatuated with a friend who is dating another person and you think you’re not good enough for that friend? You are a beautiful person and to quote former All-Pro linebacker Wayne Walker, you are as cool as the other side of the pillow.

Holla.

“Me, cool? AWW YEAH!” Look at that high-five form though.

So what if you didn’t land the axel first? So what if your friend passed the figure skating tests first? Whatever, if you work hard enough and ooze out an aura of confidence that says, “I will land that axel,” it is likely that you’ll land that axel with grace in competition. Tests suck a lot though. You’re infatuated and you think you’ve found someone who you believe to be a potential life partner in grade school? 99.99999999799999% of the time, wait it out and don’t swing too early, slugger. But if you do go on to ignore the message and find your life partner in grade school, congratulations to you too. You’re a short person? Take the hand you are dealt in grade school, high school, college, work or down time to show that you are the bigger person with an attractive charisma and personality. To potential lovers and longtime friends-in-the-making, that counts for something.

You reassure me to let me know that you will no longer focus on what you don’t have. However, if you do insist that Comparisons: A Dangerous Game is a game that you must keep playing, perhaps you will enjoy this song that will never see the ice at a major competition (parental advisory: lyrics, content, repetitive beat, a song Michelle Kwan didn’t win with, etc).

But maybe it isn’t about lamenting a potential significant other you lost to someone else. Perhaps you need a tissue when comparing facial features, body fat percentages, height, beautiful hair or beautiful nails of models, cheerleaders… Biz Markie will understand and so will Skee Lo.

Superficially,

thefigureskatinglawyer

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