Skates On a Plane Are: ☑ Allowed, ☐ Not Allowed

March 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

Hey, Mr. Jackson, this about to get awkward…

Because you're wrong.

Because you’re wrong.

You can thank the USFSA for the right to carry figure skates aboard flights. US Figure Skating Association, the governing body of American figure skating has some powerful friends in Capitol Hill and Department of Homeland Security. Those powerful friends can’t do anything about lost or stolen skates though.

McKayla's not impressed with you at all, Southwest Airlines.

Farewell, expensive ice skates.

TSA Prohibited Items List:

Let’s just list a few dangerous items that may or may not be allowed as carry-on items:

  • Nail clippers: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Box cutters: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Ice axe/ice pick: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Scissors: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Large bottles of liquid: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Durian fruit: ☑ Allowed, ☐ Not Allowed (but for the sake of other passengers’ sanity, don’t do it, bro)
  • Throwing stars: ☐ Allowed ☑ Not Allowed
  • Musical instruments: ☑ Allowed ☐ Not Allowed (but a short time after figure skates were allowed)
  • Figure skates and speed skates: ☑ Allowed ☐ Not Allowed
TSA, wut?

TSA, wut?

Solving an Argument

Assigned seats (everybody but Southwest Airlines) or not (Southwest Airlines), what if you have a dispute over which seat is yours? What if someone believes wholeheartedly that you look more like a team manager rather than an actual male figure skater? What if someone gets annoyed with how much overhead luggage space you’re taking up? You could…

  • Easily rip off the multi-colored soaker/skate guard/Rockerz, reveal the sharp skating blade and assert your damage.
  • Aim for the major arteries, apply some blunt force trauma, and await handcuffing & TSA detainment for some assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder…
  • Leave the ice skates be, sheathed and packed.

There are some dangerous possibilities when skaters bring their skates through an airport or on board a plane. If you’re stuck at the security checkpoint because a TSA agent says no to figure skates, show them this document (link, yay it works now!). They are allowed as carry-on as long as the TSA agent working the X-ray machine can verify the skates underneath all the items in your duffle or Zuca bag. If you spot your competitors flying from the same airport, wish them luck. Otherwise, have fun going somewhere else to ice skate!

(... what, this actually happened? She fell?)

thefigureskatinglawyer

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